Lost

April 22, 2011 § Leave a comment

Out of a fog, good things happened yesterday. I have as little grasp of where they came from as where the fog came from or went to. It fluttered in and out of my day, moth-like and persistent. The space in the house give is room to breed and to grow, but that space will help to break this funk too.

The last couple of weeks have been a magical mystery tour of the corners of my brain that I don’t have a handle on. Much as I would like to, I have little idea of what lurks in there and when it comes out to play, I have no idea what the game is. It used to be that I knew the rules. These days, I find myself in places I can’t understand and it’s frightening.

Just as somehow I got a handle on the old games, it’s a case of learning the new ones, even if I’m tired and I thought I wouldn’t have to do this again. That’s not a fight I can win.

Yesterday, something small, which was grating on me immeasurably was lifted. A lucky break out of nowhere. I hope and touch wood and count the superstitions I can abide by to make it work out. One little change to show me that I can do this.

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